Dumbledore is gay.
On top of all that, I received a package in the mail today.
No, it was not a sparkly new phone, something far, far more strange.
Allow me to explain.
This past summer, my friend Brandon and I ate at Hardee's once and a while in between classes. One of those days, we received a Hardee's punch card to get a free, I kid you not, fishing pole.
So, that was a surprise. Hardee's feeding me for life.
A bigger surprise was the "warning" label that was casualy printed on the handle of the rod. It reads:
THIS PRODUCT CONTAINS A CHEMICAL KNOWN
TO THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA TO CAUSE CANCER,
BIRTH DEFECTS AND OTHER REPRODUCTIVE HARM.
They might as well have sent me anthrax on a stick.
Craigslist here I come!
The Briefing 04-05-17
3 weeks ago